Tunes…..

Folks if you don’t own this album, it would do you some good to check it out… It’s what you get when someone who has been bought by the blood of the Lamb actually takes time to sit down and write about things…And does it well…

He pays debts that I owe…

Sorry, i have been a bad blogger.

So, I have been reading a book recently on praise and worship(which has been excellent), and over the past few days i have been spending some time in Psalm 103 and I feel like the Lord has been teaching me quite a few things out of this passage. For starters this particular text is one of King David’s psalm’s, one of the things I have noticed about his writing is that he always seemed to have an inner dialogue going on within himself.Particularly that he would actually talk to himself…that is speak to his own soul. let me back up a bit for a minute… one of the things that i have seemed to continually come into contact with, in a very wide range of the body of Christ is that for many people there seems to be a lack of enthusiasm concerning Christ himself and his word, now let me set this straight, this is not meant to be an attack on people or a judgment, merely an observation. Whether it is someone’s inability to connect in worship, or their reluctance to even speak about God publicly, a large part of the body seems generally disinterested in actually talking about God and His marvelous deeds. I have however noticed that we can be extremely motivated and passionate about all of the other things around us, whether it is the music we listen to, the show we are DIE HARD to get home and watch, or the many other things in life(work, friends,family hobbies,etc.) Beloved this is all out of whack, and i too find myself in those places where I am raving for days about some minor thing but at the end of the day i realize that I have not even spoken to my Father in heaven.

So back to David in the beginning of this text you will find that He is actually speaking TO his own soul, he is giving out the orders! v1 Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name. You know, I really don’t think that in ALL of David’s life that he felt all gushy and comfy in the presence of God. Not when he was king of an rebellious nation and had people after his head right and left!  And that is where I feel like God has been speaking to me and I hope this can be an encouragement to you. The word says that the spirit is willing to praise God! BUT! the flesh is weak and will draw us away from Him. As I am beginning to learn praise, in it’s nature is an outward act (singing,speaking,shouting,dancing,the raising up of our hands) Beloved this is OUR responsibility! The Father will not force us…

As I was having a phone conversation with a close friend of mine today, I was sharing some of the latter parts of the text that i felt God was opening up to me…And the whole reason that they opened up to me was that I said to the Lord, “Abba I cannot feel you right now, but you are STILL worthy of my praise” and as I was having this conversation after that time I began to share with Him from v10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

As i lay in bed last night i thought back on the events leading up to my salvation, and that experience as well. I thought about many times that have transpired since those days, and times that i have been in blatant rebellion against Him. I thought about my laziness in responding to Him who has been the faithful lover of my soul in all of those times. And it really hit me “WOW” i thought ” this IS good news” He really has not given me what I deserve(which is judgment!) I was the one who deserved to die! over and over again! And let me tell you beloved THAT carried me into a place of worship! Not some place of religious duty…  MY HEART FELT ALIVE!

And so i think that is why intimacy is so difficult for people, we need to give our soul a good smack upside the head and say “LOOK” and when we return to the reality of the cross and our heart comes alive, then we can dare to believe  that if he endured that then he might actually enjoy us, and if he enjoys us then certainly he must want to let us feel that enjoyment!

And that is what happens when we stop and take the time to grab hold of the reality that ” He pays debts that I owe”

The dark nights of the soul, turn to mornings…

For the past few months I have been dealing with the sudden passing of a very close friend,spiritual father,and hero of mine. His death was very tragic and unexpected to all of us who were a part of his life, and he was one of the greatest men I have ever known.

Needless to say, things like this in life bring us into the tension of wrestling with God for answers to some of the most difficult questions that man can face. It brings out the most raw emotions of the human heart. It was in this place that I found myself reluctant to bring the true nature of my heart before God. I was angry,confused,and afraid not just about the passing of my friend but also of myself and towards Him. Which in turn made me even more scared. Did I have the right to be angry? Why was I angry? Why was I afraid and what of?

It was in this place that I knew that God existed but i could not feel His nearness, which made me even more angry and upset. So as I poured out my heart to Him for hours, I could begin to hear soft words of comfort and the sense that His grace was sufficient. His leadership over me in that moment was wiser than the way ” I ” thought He should react towards me. That did not change the resolve that he put in my heart to seek after Him violently and with my whole heart.

As I woke up today I sat down with my guitar to worship and sing from Psalm 27. The night before I could feel nothing but furious desperation and frustration. But as I began to meditate on the scriptures i began to sing from verse 4.

One thing I have asked of the Lord, that I shall seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.
I began to sing ” God I will seek you, until my heart it fails”
and as i began to sing that, the Spirit moved upon me and tenderized my heart and I began to weep. And as I began to weep, I began to see a vision of my friend seated at the right hand of Jesus, and my friend was shouting to Him saying “look at him”, and he was cheering joyfully as I wept before God. And I could feel His kindness over me. I COULD FEEL MY LOVE RISING UP TO HIM!

Later in the day, I realized that Jesus was there all along, but that sometimes along the narrow path of maturing in love for Him, He will back away to draw us out as poison is drawn out of a wound.

Beloved, I want to encourage any of you who have those deep seated things in your heart to draw near to Him and begin to pour out your heart to Him, for there is no pit too deep that He cannot reach into, His hand is not too short to save, and He is always…always listening. But sometimes it is a matter of us returning to Him broken and afraid with all of our wounds.