Shameless plug!

O.k. people… I don’t give a crap if you think I am lame and that this is dorky but this is the best book on worship(personal,congregational,prophetic, blah blah…) I have EVER read. It is rocking my world. Its from like 1987 but don’t forget that that was a season in the history of the church that God was completely changing the face of worship…Not to mention there were great outpourings of the Holy Spirit going on at that time…  HERE’S THE LINK …JUST BUY IT AND THANK ME LATER… I SAY THAT QUITE UNASHAMEDLY…GO AHEAD I DARE YOU! YOU HAVE PROBABLY SPENT 1.50$ IN STUPIDER WAYS BEFORE…I KNOW I HAVE!  And if you don’t get something from it… I will personally buy it from you and give it to someone else… So how you like dem apple’s

Its called Experiencing Worship by Bob Sorge Go and get it…

Tunes…..

Folks if you don’t own this album, it would do you some good to check it out… It’s what you get when someone who has been bought by the blood of the Lamb actually takes time to sit down and write about things…And does it well…

He pays debts that I owe…

Sorry, i have been a bad blogger.

So, I have been reading a book recently on praise and worship(which has been excellent), and over the past few days i have been spending some time in Psalm 103 and I feel like the Lord has been teaching me quite a few things out of this passage. For starters this particular text is one of King David’s psalm’s, one of the things I have noticed about his writing is that he always seemed to have an inner dialogue going on within himself.Particularly that he would actually talk to himself…that is speak to his own soul. let me back up a bit for a minute… one of the things that i have seemed to continually come into contact with, in a very wide range of the body of Christ is that for many people there seems to be a lack of enthusiasm concerning Christ himself and his word, now let me set this straight, this is not meant to be an attack on people or a judgment, merely an observation. Whether it is someone’s inability to connect in worship, or their reluctance to even speak about God publicly, a large part of the body seems generally disinterested in actually talking about God and His marvelous deeds. I have however noticed that we can be extremely motivated and passionate about all of the other things around us, whether it is the music we listen to, the show we are DIE HARD to get home and watch, or the many other things in life(work, friends,family hobbies,etc.) Beloved this is all out of whack, and i too find myself in those places where I am raving for days about some minor thing but at the end of the day i realize that I have not even spoken to my Father in heaven.

So back to David in the beginning of this text you will find that He is actually speaking TO his own soul, he is giving out the orders! v1 Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name. You know, I really don’t think that in ALL of David’s life that he felt all gushy and comfy in the presence of God. Not when he was king of an rebellious nation and had people after his head right and left!  And that is where I feel like God has been speaking to me and I hope this can be an encouragement to you. The word says that the spirit is willing to praise God! BUT! the flesh is weak and will draw us away from Him. As I am beginning to learn praise, in it’s nature is an outward act (singing,speaking,shouting,dancing,the raising up of our hands) Beloved this is OUR responsibility! The Father will not force us…

As I was having a phone conversation with a close friend of mine today, I was sharing some of the latter parts of the text that i felt God was opening up to me…And the whole reason that they opened up to me was that I said to the Lord, “Abba I cannot feel you right now, but you are STILL worthy of my praise” and as I was having this conversation after that time I began to share with Him from v10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

As i lay in bed last night i thought back on the events leading up to my salvation, and that experience as well. I thought about many times that have transpired since those days, and times that i have been in blatant rebellion against Him. I thought about my laziness in responding to Him who has been the faithful lover of my soul in all of those times. And it really hit me “WOW” i thought ” this IS good news” He really has not given me what I deserve(which is judgment!) I was the one who deserved to die! over and over again! And let me tell you beloved THAT carried me into a place of worship! Not some place of religious duty…  MY HEART FELT ALIVE!

And so i think that is why intimacy is so difficult for people, we need to give our soul a good smack upside the head and say “LOOK” and when we return to the reality of the cross and our heart comes alive, then we can dare to believe  that if he endured that then he might actually enjoy us, and if he enjoys us then certainly he must want to let us feel that enjoyment!

And that is what happens when we stop and take the time to grab hold of the reality that ” He pays debts that I owe”

The dark nights of the soul, turn to mornings…

For the past few months I have been dealing with the sudden passing of a very close friend,spiritual father,and hero of mine. His death was very tragic and unexpected to all of us who were a part of his life, and he was one of the greatest men I have ever known.

Needless to say, things like this in life bring us into the tension of wrestling with God for answers to some of the most difficult questions that man can face. It brings out the most raw emotions of the human heart. It was in this place that I found myself reluctant to bring the true nature of my heart before God. I was angry,confused,and afraid not just about the passing of my friend but also of myself and towards Him. Which in turn made me even more scared. Did I have the right to be angry? Why was I angry? Why was I afraid and what of?

It was in this place that I knew that God existed but i could not feel His nearness, which made me even more angry and upset. So as I poured out my heart to Him for hours, I could begin to hear soft words of comfort and the sense that His grace was sufficient. His leadership over me in that moment was wiser than the way ” I ” thought He should react towards me. That did not change the resolve that he put in my heart to seek after Him violently and with my whole heart.

As I woke up today I sat down with my guitar to worship and sing from Psalm 27. The night before I could feel nothing but furious desperation and frustration. But as I began to meditate on the scriptures i began to sing from verse 4.

One thing I have asked of the Lord, that I shall seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.
I began to sing ” God I will seek you, until my heart it fails”
and as i began to sing that, the Spirit moved upon me and tenderized my heart and I began to weep. And as I began to weep, I began to see a vision of my friend seated at the right hand of Jesus, and my friend was shouting to Him saying “look at him”, and he was cheering joyfully as I wept before God. And I could feel His kindness over me. I COULD FEEL MY LOVE RISING UP TO HIM!

Later in the day, I realized that Jesus was there all along, but that sometimes along the narrow path of maturing in love for Him, He will back away to draw us out as poison is drawn out of a wound.

Beloved, I want to encourage any of you who have those deep seated things in your heart to draw near to Him and begin to pour out your heart to Him, for there is no pit too deep that He cannot reach into, His hand is not too short to save, and He is always…always listening. But sometimes it is a matter of us returning to Him broken and afraid with all of our wounds.

Wounded by love…

Seeing this image captured my heart tonight…
I remember a short time after God had radically changed my life, there were so many times I was desperate for Him, desperate for His touch in a very real way. I remember feeling this way, I remember the way that God met me when I needed Him so badly, and the reality is is that I wanted Him so badly. There were times when His presence fell upon me and I wasn’t even expecting it…

And now I look around me and I wonder where that desperation went? I wonder where that level of desire in my heart has fled to? Not just in my own heart, but in the hearts of those who are around me as well.

Beloved, Our Father is after the deepest parts of our heart, our God is searching to and fro about the earth to find a people to give to His Son as an eternal inheritance. The Song of songs prophetically refers to his bride as being “lovesick for her beloved” I can only truthfully speak for myself but I am beginning to become deeply troubled in my spirit that there is this lack of desperation and longing for Him in me and around me. We just were NOT meant to live this way!
God is worthy of a people that seek him with a reckless abandonment in their hearts and nothing less! And I thank God that He has given me this discomfort as a safety mechanism to preserve my heart that it may flourish into mature love for Him.

I want to weep at His feet again…I actually want to FEEL His affection for me, not just read it in a book or hear it from someone’s mouth again. I wanna be acquainted with the true fear of the Lord, to learn what it really means to tremble before the presence of a Holy God. I cannot afford to live any other way any longer…It’s what He died for…

Love came down…

I have been thinking about the great commandment, from Deut: 6 Love the Lord with all you heart, mind ,soul and strength. And as I began to meditate on that, I started to wonder how we are supposed to love Him with all of our strength? Are we supposed to grit our teeth and then “BANG” it is finished? And so more and more I have been realizing that we will never be able to fully abandon our hearts to God until we are filled with the revelation of how he feels towards us. Beloved, I believe  that revelation begins with us taking a deep and long gaze at the reality that He came down to us, to rescue us because His delight is for us. Only from that place can we begin to love him in a way that He is Worthy of being adored…

Are we going through life without a sense of destiny? I have found myself in that place many times, but I am beginning to learn that my purpose and my destiny are greater than I ever could have imagined! And when I set my heart towards the reality that I was created to bring joy to the heart of an eternal God, and that I am being fashioned to be a suitable partner for His son Jesus, to delight in Him for ages to come…When I REALLY! begin to allow that to penetrate my heart, then the shadows of this life flee away from me. THAT IS THE CHIEF PURPOSE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE! So there you have it… the meaning of life…

photo by: the Twon Schroeder  From the garden till our wedding day!

Free Stuff!!!

Everybody likes free stuff right? I sure know I do, especially when its something of great value. Well for those if you who do not know what The International House of Prayer missions base is, it is a night and day prayer ministry based around David’s tabernacle ( 1 chronic. 23-25). This ministry is designed and called to minister to the Lord and to the community night and day through prayer and worship, and God is raising up alike ministries all over the world in this day and hour to pour out their affection upon the Lord and contend with Him for justice in the earth. Well back in my day:) You used to have to drive to Kansas City just to able to visit the prayer room…not exactly convenient! And then they began to offer it online audio only for a low low price of 10$ a month! Buy Now!… BUT! NOW! Thanks to Gods provision it is all free all the time! FREE! ALL THE TIME! This has been an amazing resource for my heart personally, and it is exciting  to open it up and see that there are people contending for God to break through in the earth,  great to just pop on and soak in when you feel like you just need to rest in His presence. Also let me mention for those of you night owls that the nightwatch is amazing and intense and they are a bunch of folks that go after him late into the night until the day breaks, I have personally been in the prayer room at 3am and it truly is a powerful experience. I share this because I know that if someone else knew where there was free treasure to be found I would certainly hope that they would share the map! HERE IT IS! www.ihop.org there is a link on the bottom of the page where it says PRAYER ROOM LIVE FEED. So TUNE IN! TURN UP THE VOLUME OF YOUR HEARTS! AND DROP OUT TO THE SOUND OF HEAVEN!

Fling wide the gates!

So let me just open this thing up! Danny set this thing up for me, and I have never even used a word processor! So everybody please be patient with me as I am sure all of you out there are chomping at the bit to post something on here…right…